Tuesday 5 June 2012

The One with the Boob-Starer!

"Hey! Rohit is coming over this weekend?" For someone who loves playing the host more than a guest ever since I was a kid, I always had friends over. Always!

"For what?" came the reply from someone who hates being either the host or the guest! All that Opposites Attract nonsense! ;)

"What do you mean, for what? He is just coming. Will have a couple of beers and leave!" I responded.

"Ya... Ok!" I could see that she was not happy. After I ask her a number of times, she gives up and says, "You please don't feel bad.... but... he stares!" 
"He stares? What kinda excuse is that? He stares at what?" Now this was a new excuse.

She reluctantly said, "He stares.. ummm... he stares at my... my... chest!" 

"WHAT?" I was dumb-struck! I have been friends with Rohit for 3 years now and ever since he has been good friends with Jane too. Really good. They have talked over phone a number of times even before we started living-in. And then too he used to visit occasionally!

Now, I am certain Jane wouldn't say something like this until she was certain of it. That only means one thing - He is one of those guys - who can't help but stare at boobies! A Boob-Starer! (Yup! I made up that word now!)

I am pretty sure that every gal out there has caught atleast one man out there staring at her, ahem.. you know... And that every guy out there has done it atleast once (maybe you were just 13 years old then, but you did it too, at some point in your life!)

Why do men stare... err... there? When we are young, blame it on curiosity! When you are in your teens, you have atleast one friend who rates girls based on the sizes (ranging from being called "LCD TVs" to "Bazookas"! Please don't ask me what they mean!). When you are out of your teens, then you automatically lose interest in 'just' looking - you want to do more. And then you fall in love - that is the usually the end of the boob-starer phase for most guys! I don't know if it is the guilt of staring at another woman's assets or the confidence that you now have a pair to call your own - but anyhow that is mostly how it ends!

I have heard that men who are 35+ years of age have a tendency to return to their teenage days again, if you know what I mean, but I am yet to have such friends! This is not even a topic of discussion among us guys even when we are away from the earshot of our wives!

But there are those awkward moments. When you are sitting in a bus and lost in thoughts staring into space, and you suddenly hear a "chee" from a girl standing opposite to you adjusting her duppatta - and you realize that you were actually not staring into space, but staring into her personal space! Oh, that is the most embarrassing thing that can happen to a man. We hate it that we are being blamed for something that we didn't even think of! And then there are men who can't stare into a woman's face while talking and end up looking... err... a bit lower! If you are such a guy, then please look away or look at her feet when you talk. It would take time to adjust to this routine, but it is always better than... you know...!

Coming back to the situation at hand. A close friend is a boob-starer! The victim is the wife! Now, whatever maybe the reason for which he stares, this is completely unacceptable! Close friend or not! So the sensible thing here is to distance myself from him, and pray that he doesn't do it again the next time we are forced to meet! Confront him - NO WAY! Too embarrassing for all involved! Any other options? Do let me know...
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